1 word to describe today: SAD.


Had chemistry re-test today. I think the whole class failed for the test.


Some other lessons before recess.


After recess, we had English and my group performed the skit.


Had a-math test after that, Im so going to fail. 13 marks not done. I really need a math tutor. Anyone willing to help?


After school, I did not see HIM in canteen. Got very sad. Then, when I went to find Jiamin, I saw him. Super happy then.


My class had biology for today's study hour.


After study hour, I waited for Chooyan in the canteen. Then suddenly, he walked out. I was shocked, very shocked. I was also very happy, I felt that there is a thing between us. I made Chooyan walked faster, so I can catch up with him and see him. I did not cross the road to the other bus stop cause no one will be talking bus with me.


Finally bus 21 came, When boarding the bus, Chooyan called me. I did not pick up. So, I called her back. Here's our conversation:


Chooyan: Charyl, I got a very very very bad news for you. You cannot be sad after hearing it okay? Cannot cry ar.

Charyl: Ya, what thing so bad that will make me so sad. (The first thought was HIM)

Chooyan: Erm ....very sad to me leh the news. You sure you want to know?

Charyl: Ya, very sure.

Chooyan: okay, he don't like you.

Charyl: Ya, so ...

Chooyan: Don't say ar.

Charyl: Im not sad (Im lieing)

Chooyan: okay then, bye!


After that conversation, Im SAD. I was sad really really sad. The only thing I wanted then was to cry. Nothing but cry. It was Roy the one that tell chooyan this. And it was him that tell Roy that.


Reached home, my home was filled with all the sad songs you know. I keep asking myself why why why why... I hate such things to happen.


Chooyan and Rachel: You said alot of things about him, like he did not go up the bus so as to wait for me, his friends disturb him when I am around. All this might be like any other words coming out of your mouth. But to me, it is not just any other words. All this give me hopes, makes me happy, makes me feel how being like is like. From the start, I already asked you all to stop saying, to not jump to conclusion. But you all just continue saying, keep telling me that you all are stating facts, everything is real. If it is, why did it become like this? Uh, Rachel and Chooyan.


"Lord, I prayed every morning, every night, asking you not to hurt me with such love thing again. But why, why must it always happen. I prayed so hard, had the faith that you will answer this prayer of mine. But why didn't you, lord. Im sad now. Not only because of him, but because of the faith I have in you. I asked for you to give me the answer, so that I will not fall and hurt myself again. I thought you did, from the things that happened the past few weeks. But I mistaken everything. I feel that Im really dumb, really useless. Lord, you playing a fool with me?"